There are several reasons why couples end up in a divorce. From misunderstanding to have no time for each other to cheating, betrayal, and so much more than they reached the boiling point and decided to part ways. That is the painful reality. While there are those who fulfilled their promise of forever, there are relationships that had an unfortunate ending. However, the divorce process gets worse when the couple already has children and family.
Divorce process actually has a huge impact on young children and adolescents according to several studies on couples undergoing divorce. A very helpful article written by Carl E Pickhardt Ph.D. in Psychology Today discussed the impact of divorce on young children and adolescents. Read the article below.
The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents
Young children and adolescents can respond differently to divorce
Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a boy or girl no matter what the age. Witnessing loss of love between parents, having parents break their marriage commitment, adjusting to going back and forth between two different households, and the daily absence of one parent while living with the other, all create a challenging new family circumstance in which to live. In the personal history of the boy or girl, parental divorce is a watershed event. Life that follows is significantly changed from how life was before.
Somewhat different responses to this painful turn of events occur if the boy or girl is still in childhood or has entered adolescence. Basically, divorce tends to intensify the child’s dependence and it tends to accelerate the adolescent’s independence; it often elicits a more regressive response in the child and a more aggressive response in the adolescent. Consider why this variation may be so.
The child’s world is a dependent one, closely connected to parents who are favored companions, heavily reliant on parental care, with family the major locus of one’s social life. The adolescent world is a more independent one, more separated and distant from parents, more self-sufficient, where friends have become favored companions, and where the major locus of one’s social life now extends outside of family into a larger world of life experience.
For the young child, divorce shakes trust in dependency on parents who now behave in an extremely undependable way. They surgically divide the family unit into two different households between which the child must learn to transit back and forth, for a while creating unfamiliarity, instability, and insecurity, never being able to be with one parent without having to be apart from the other. Click here to read the rest of this post…
Divorce definitely has a huge impact on young children as well as adolescents. They are expected to respond differently after hearing this from their parents. It is very important for the parents to carefully explain to their kids why it ended this way. As mentioned, depending on the kid’s age, they react differently. Laura Broadwell wrote about this fact in her article published at Parents.com an age-by-age guide to what children understand about divorce. Read the article below to find out more.
Age-by-Age Guide to What Children Understand About Divorce
Birth to 18 Months
Divorce represents a pivotal and often traumatic shift in a child’s world — and from his perspective, a loss of family. When told of the news, many children feel sad, angry, and anxious, and have a hard time grasping how their lives will change. The age at which a child’s parents divorce also has an impact on how he responds and what he understands about the new family structure. Here is a brief summary of what children comprehend at different ages and how you can help ease their transition.
During infancy, babies are able to feel tension in the home (and between their parents) but can’t understand the reasoning behind the conflict. If the tension continues, babies may become irritable and clingy, especially around new people, and have frequent emotional outbursts. They may also tend to regress or show signs of developmental delay.
18 Months to 3 Years
During the toddler years, a child’s main bond is with her parents, so any major disruption in her home life can be difficult for her to accept and comprehend. What’s more, kids this age are self-centered and may think they’ve caused their parents’ breakup. They may cry and want more attention than usual, regress and return to thumb sucking, resist toilet training, have a fear of being abandoned, or have trouble going to sleep or sleeping alone at night.
How to ease the transition: If possible, parents should work together to develop normal, predictable routines that their child can easily follow. It’s also important to spend quality time with your child and offer extra attention, and ask trusted friends and relatives to do the same. Discuss your child’s feelings (if she’s old enough to talk), read books together, and assure her that she’s not responsible for the breakup.
3 to 6 Years
Preschoolers don’t understand the whole notion of divorce and don’t want their parents to separate — no matter how tense the home environment. In fact, divorce is a particularly hard concept for these little “control freaks” to comprehend, because they feel as if they have no power to control the outcome.
Like toddlers, preschoolers believe they are ultimately responsible for their parents’ separation. They may experience uncertain feelings about the future, keep their anger trapped inside, have unpleasant thoughts or ideas, or be plagued by nightmares. See full post here…
As mentioned above, parents filing a divorce had a significant effect on their kids depending on their age. That’s why parents must thoroughly explain to their children the situation in ways that suit their age. While it is really a painful and difficult chapter for them, there are ways in which the divorce process is easier for your children, as written by Matilda Davies in her article at Divorce Magazine.
Making the Divorce Process Easier for Your Children
Divorce is tough on families, and there’s no simple way around that, but there are ways you can ensure the process is as smooth as possible for your children—and the home is where this begins.
Here are three ways that you can ensure the home remains a safe, comfortable, and secure space for your kids during a divorce.
Making the Divorce Process Easier for Your Children
Give kids plenty of notice before a parent moves out
Once you’ve told your children about the divorce, be sure to give plenty of advance notice before any parties move, whether that’s the children themselves or one of the parents. Kids will need plenty of time to process the information, ask questions, and adapt to the change.
Because you want the home to remain a place where children feel comforted, normal, safe, and secure, ensure that you openly discuss any changes in living arrangements—let them know clearly what will and will not be changing—and make sure your children know they are free to ask any questions they may have.
Maintain a regular routine
Because your children will be experiencing a great deal of change, it’s important to maintain a regular routine so that your children are able to lean on the normalcy of their day-to-day.
Establishing a regular morning routine, after-school routine, and evening routine that include self-care practices, regular day-to-day obligations (like chores, homework, etc.), and fun, will help maintain a sense of security and reduce anxiety.
Make sure your kids know that they can carry on with being children as best they can—engaging in normal play at home and inviting friends over for playdates and sleepovers. By keeping the home a predictable place, you have helped ease the stress brought on by the changes. Click here to read the rest of this post…
In general, parents undergoing divorce process had significant negative effects to every child, It is indeed a painful experience to them that their parents decided to part ways and they are forced to live to just one of their parents depending on who is rewarded with the custody. The happy home that the family lived for years will never be the same. Some experts even saying that the best way for kids to totally moved on is to live in a new house or relocate to a new place.
If you’re undergoing a divorce and want to sell your house fast and start a new life, we at Dependable Homebuyers can help you sell your house fast, find the right buyer for you to start a new life. Visit our website https://www.dependablehomebuyers.com to get started.